Shine Like It Does

Back in 1997, one of my favorite musicians decided to end his life. Michael Hutchence was the lead singer of INXS. The band from Australia reached their height in 1987, and slowly went downhill in sales after that. Hutchence was having problems with a custody battle for his daughter which also involved his ex and Bob Geldof of Boomtown Rats and Live Aid. I personally cannot fathom suicide. I don't believe anything can ever be that bad. I love life, even when it sucks!

In a 2001 Rolling Stone article, U2 frontman Bono talked about Michael's death and what an impact it had on him. One night, Bono and Michael were hanging out in France and Bono was trying to lift Michael's spirits. As a result of his death, Bono wrote the song "Stuck In A Moment You Can't Get Out Of".

What follows is the impact INXS had on my life with a journey through some of their songs. These aren't necessarily a chronological order of when they were released but when they had a special meaning for me.

The One Thing, 1983: Just becoming a teenager, in the height of the New Wave era. It reminds me of a trip I took to Roanoke, VA. I had moved from there a couple years before, and it was great to see my old friends.

What You Need, 1986: Summer was coming, and school was ending. 10th grade was a weird year for me, but the summer was full of promise and adventure. Like most things in life, the anticipation was better than the results.

Good Times, 1987: This track was from the Lost Boys soundtrack. I remember seeing this with my brothers and my friend Rod. We were always seeing the latest movie, and I remember those summer nights with fondness. When I wasn't seeing movies, I was probably off drinking beers with other friends.

Need You Tonight, 1987: In October of 1987, I started going to a club called Kryptons with my friend Pete. Another friend, Viki, worked there and she would help get me in (I was only 17) and get me drinks. I remember having so much fun there.

New Sensation, 1988: After a bout with mono, I felt alive and ready to take on life. I was graduating in a couple months, and my whole life was ready for the taking. A reservoir near my house was the local hot spot for May of 1988, and I spent many days and nights there with friends drinking and... so on.

Disappear, 1990: I just love this song for the actual music and lyrics. It was one of those songs that I knew would become a long-term classic the first time I heard it and it still holds up to this day.

This Time/Kiss The Dirt (Falling Down The Mountain)/Shine Like It Does, 1990: I really got into the 1986 release of Listen Like Thieves after Disappear came out. I was going through a bit of a rough spot in October of 1990. It was like a journey for my soul. These songs helped lift me out of my funk and get past my woes.

Not Enough Time, 1992: I was transferring to Cabrini College my junior year, and this song captured the excitement of this huge transition. I had gone to a community college prior to this, and felt I missed out on the whole college experience. Cabrini definitely filled that hole, and quick.

The Gift, 1993: Another fall release from the band, but this was their worst one yet. They were trying to capture the grunge sound that brought Nirvana and Pearl Jam to greatness, and the band failed miserably. In my own life, I was struggling with my true self and quickly discovered who my true friends were.

The Strangest Party (These Are The Times), 1994: After college, I worked at a comic store for less than a year. I met a lot of new people and hung out with a lot of old friends during that time. After that era, my life changed considerably. This song reminds me of that year after college.

Elegantly Wasted, 1997: Living in Sweden, I was cleaning hotel rooms and washing dishes and I was absolutely miserable. I felt wasted, and I had to make some very hard choices fast. Whatever decision I made meant hurting others, and I knew I had to put up a tough demeanor to get through it.

I'm Just A Man, 1997: I listened to this song a lot after Michael killed himself in November of 1997. What I found most ironic was how full of hope Michael seemed to be when he wrote this song. Some sample lyrics are "I'm just a man. My will is so strong, when I've got plans, I close my eyes to the pain." I wondered why he didn't close his eyes on that fateful night when he hung himself.

The music business has had it's fair share of celebrity deaths. For my generation, the biggest was probably Kurt Cobain. But Hutchence' death hit me the hardest, because I felt such a deep connection to the music of INXS.

In 2005, the remaining members of INXS decided to start anew and were features on a summer show called Rock Star where they would find a new lead singer for the band. The winner was a Canadian named J.D. Fortune. Out of all the contestants, he sounded the most like Hutchence. They released an album called Switch in November of 2005. Which brings me to the final song on this INXS list.

God's Top Ten, 2005: I believe this song was written for Michael's daughter. The lyrics say it all, and eulogize Michael in an awe-inspiring way. "Romance is gone, he's drifting with the stars, a lyric in his pocket, little girl in his heart. When she hears his songs on the radio, I don't need to tell you what you already know, he's on God's Top Ten."

I don't know what became of INXS after that CD came out. Most people hate it because it doesn't have Michael. I am actually quite fond of it. But I do still miss the singer who helped lift me up out of depressions, anxiety and teenage angst. Michael wrote songs that celebrated life in all it's glory. It's still a shame he can't be around to create more.

Life In One Day

On Martin Luther King Day of 2001, I decided to go exploring. I had just moved to San Diego a few months before, and my future wife had to work that day, so I decided to get up very early and see how much I could do in one day. I woke up at 4:30 am, and took a quick shower and went for a drive. I lived in an apartment in the San Diego suburb of Poway. I was soon on Route 67 heading south on the way to Route 8 East. I had a very specific destination.

I wanted to reach the highest point of the Alpine Pass and watch the sunrise over the desert. On the way there, I ran into snow near the town of Alpine. I made it through the treacherous roads through the transitional area between the mountain and the desert and I made it to my destination. I pulled over to the side of the road, and saw the sun rising in the east. The sun rise is always awesome, but to see it like this, over the desert... it was beautiful. After sitting there for half an hour, just taking it all in, I had another destination in mind.

I headed back west on Route 8 and took a right on Route 79 and headed north. I stopped by a little diner in the small town of Descanso to get some coffee. In my haste, I mistakenly put some syrup in my coffee instead of sugar. I drank it, and it tasted like crap, but I needed some caffeine after waking up so early. Soon I reached my second destination of the day, Cuyamaca Rancho State Park. There was about 9 inches of snow on the ground, so I played in the snow for about an hour and a half. It was freezing out there, and the snow was still falling, but it felt great. It reminded me of the other places I had lived, where it would always snow at least once a year. By this time it was about 9:30 am, and I knew I had another place I wanted to see that day.

I got out of the snow and headed back west on Route 8. I went as far as I could go until I reached my third destination, Mission Beach. Changing into my shorts and a t-shirt, with my discman in hand, I walked along the beach listening to the U2 cd All That You Can't Leave Behind. It was a comfortably warm day but not too hot. I spent a couple hours there, just sitting on the beach, taking in the sun's warm rays.

I called the future wife and we made plans to meet at her office to get some lunch together. I met her at 12 noon on the nose. We went to a local eating spot called Mama Leone's that she had been raving about. She found out Mama Leone's secret recipe for her marinara sauce, which she still uses to this day! It was 1pm and I still had more to do!

I went to the huge Regal movie theater in Mira Mesa and decided to see a movie. Family Man with Nicolas Cage. Not the best movie in the world, but it wasn't horrible. I then drove back to my apartment complex around 3pm and decided to relax in the hot tub by the pool. After my rough day of leisure I needed to wind down. After soaking in there for about an hour, I decided to run to the local comic store and pick up a graphic novel. I then went to the grocery store, got some food for dinner, and went home and made dinner.

This day remains one of the best days of my life. Where else but in Southern California can you see the sunrise over the desert, play in the snow, and then go to the beach and get a tan? And all this was before noon. I knew in a couple weeks I would be asking her to marry me. The ring was paid for and the plans were in motion. The only thing missing from that day was sharing it all with her!

The Boy With The Thorn In His Side

That was me in the early 1980's. I always had some bug up my ass about something or someone. I wasn't too happy. It was the old "which came first, the chicken or the egg"? Was I obnoxious to people first or was I being "picked on" first? I wanted to be cool, and hang out with certain people. That never happened so I was more miserable. And in my anger about that, I lashed out. I would spend most of my time in junior high school dodging the latest enemy cause of something stupid I said.

If I could go back in time, I would change all that. But I can't. So instead, I will always wonder what might of happened if I kept my big mouth shut! Live and learn...

What is interesting is how many of those people I have become "friends" with through Facebook. Time does heal all wounds, and with that comes understanding and forgiveness.

Preview for the next post: One of the best days of my life!

Begin The Begin

An old college buddy of mine recently created one of these and it inspired me to do the same. I hope for those reading this you are doing well. The holidays are ending, and I can't wait for life to become normal again. Don't get me wrong, I love Christmas and New Years and Auld Lang Syne and all of that. But with the media and retail stores and the parties it can become overkill at times. But nothing beats the look on my son Jacob's four year old face when he truly believes that Christmas is a special time. That makes it all worth it. I wonder if adults can capture that magic the way children can. We spend so much time worrying that we forget to enjoy life. More on that later. For now though, I am going to spend some time with my son and enjoy the moment!